I Dare You to Run

I had a realization while at the gym today..... I hate the treadmill (i.e. running or exercise of any kind). Okay, really that's my realization every time I'm on the treadmill. I'm not an athlete, never have been and probably never will be. As far back as I can remember I was pretty weak, wimpy and otherwise out of shape. I hated P.E., which was always a little traumatizing, as I was last to be called for teams, and always out first in games like dodge ball, where the boys would throw the ball so hard my legs would sting for hours. Who makes little girls play dodge ball anyways?

I remember a brief childhood moment where someone (definitely not me) had the idea I should play softball. I never got a hit, and as I would stroll up to the batters box I would pray to God desperately for a walk. I can only remember playing the outfield which was fine with me. The less action the better. I remember the shear terror one day as a fly ball finally came my direction...actually right to me, only for me to drop it. Talk about embarrassing. I felt like I'd let everyone down, my team, my parents, my brother, and myself. Really? I thought afterwards, if I can't catch a ball hit right to me what can I do? Needlessly to say from that day forward I had even less interest in sports, exercise or athletics of any kind....if that was even possible. (I'll spare you the gruesome details of cheerleading tryouts, just another one of my 'I can't' moments).

That's me during my brief stint as a softball player


Now I'm sure we all have our share of embarrassing moments, our moments where we consciously or subconsciously decide we can't, we won't, we never will be. These moments can be our driving force to give up on on ourselves, give up on life, and give up on our dreams. I've had a lot of these give up moments, moments where I give in and settle for less than I am and less than I want to be. Being healthy, athletic and in shape is just one part of me I'd given up many, many years ago.

Until now.

Running....I hate it, but I just figured out I can do it. I don't go fast and I don't go far, but I do it. And each time it gets a little easier, and a little more endurable. And now instead of staring painfully at the seconds click by, sweat dripping down my face, I feel good and I feel powerful. I think about the many 'I cant's' of my life, and decide from here on out there are only going to be 'I cans.' If I can run and feel this way, what other things can I do that I never thought possible? So from now on I'm going to dare myself. Dare myself to go after the dreams in my heart, the things I never thought I could do, the things God created me to do, and right now I want to run.

~ J